Coming To A Theatre Near You: Iron Man 3 & The Hangover 3

The trailer/teaser for 2 of what can probably, with a large degree of accuracy, be described as two of the most anticipated blockbusters for the summer of 2013 season are out and hey look, they basically have the same poster:

 

Let's start with Iron Man 3

 



So I guess Ben Kingsley is going to show up looking like this:

Awesome. If anyone can play that costume it's Kingsley because he's British and they, ya know, invented acting or something.

He stars as villain The Mandarin, which will probably mean more to Iron Man fans than it does to me, having touched a girl before and all

Promising is that nowhere do any of the ads or the film's IMDB page indicate that Samuel L. Jackson will be appearing as Nick Fury, whose presence in the Iron Man 2 resulted in an entire second act product placement for the then upcoming Avengers film

Not so promising is the teaser for The Hangover Part 3:



We're promised "The epic conclusion to the trilogy of mayhem and bad decisions." This statement, of course, ignores the fact that the first film was a complete, self contained entity and it's sequel no more than a lazy remake with twice as much irreverence as the first.

Number 3 looks to be in about the same boat as the boys retread the same jokes and story for a third time. From the lame cutaway shot that reveals Alan (Zach Galifianakis) singing that opens the teaser to the last in which a giraffe has an unfortunate encounter with a concrete bridge (okay, that might be funny), it all reeks of been there done that...TWICE.

On a closing note, if anyone has any clips or knows any instances of Ken Jeong being funny please send them to me immediately as I'd hate to go through the rest of my life believing that this man has never done a single funny thing in his career...Ever...Like really...

 

Today In News I Don't Know How to Feel About:

I woke up this morning with the inexplicable feeling of getting fucked in the ass by a mouse. It was non too surprising then to bring up the trusty Hollywood Reporter who reported that Disney CEO Bob Iger has announced that they have tapped both Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg to work on stand-alone films in addition to the newly planned trilogy of sequels to one of filmdoms most beloved Kurosawa rip offs, Star Wars.

Wait, what?

So let me get this straight. Within a 6 year period, starting in 2015, the world will not be getting three new Star Wars films, but actually five from the Mouse House? The two in question will apparently stand outside of the new trilogy and revolve around lesser known characters from the Star Wars universe, one of which I hope will be this girl:

Back on track...

Editorial rant on market over saturation aside, the choice to have Kasdan's name associated with a new Star Wars film is intriguing. His first screenplay credit after all was on a little film you may have heard of called The Empire Strikes Back, which he then followed up with Raiders of the Lost Ark. He also took a writing credit on Return of the Jedi, making him associated with 2/3s of the original trilogy. This guy is no slouch, although yes, I do recognize that he's been in a bit of a decade long cinematic limbo.

Kinberg's name does not inspire similar enthusiasm. His credits include xXx 2, X-Men 3, Jumper, Mr & Mrs. Smith and This Means War. Maybe in his Star Wars film Boba Fett will get caught up in an intergalactic romantic triangle with a fellow bounty hunter? Did I mention this girl?

Right, back on track...

Although there aren't many more details on the subject, it seems there's an interesting dichotomy going on here. On one hand is Kasdan, a man of a bygone era of Hollywood entertainment and one of, at the time anyway, Hollywood's best screenwriters and Kinberg a man who once wrote one of the most poetic lines in Samuel L. Jackson's career: "I HATE JUMPERS!"

You and me both Sam.

So the question begs to be asked: how do you feel about this Star Wars fans? Do you consider these to be promising new developments or is this simply the beginning stages of the Star Wars Saga's continued Dark Ages? They can't be worse than the Clone Wars movie...can they?